Perfectly imperfect

I tried to write something nice enough, something meaningful enough, something special enough to signify the huge importance of the day that was our last day with our Albie.

But no words are coming to me, I think my mind is broken tonight, it must be following my hearts lead.

We never got the chance to say goodbye.

We didn’t know we wouldn’t see his sparking eyes gazing up in the morning.

I don’t think I could have physically done it- said goodbye. How could I say goodbye to one of my little boy? I am not that strong.

But we did say ‘night night’ 

We did kiss him and tickle him and show him our brand new fairy lights above the bed.

And he fell asleep smiling, warm and I really hope knowing he was absolutely adored. 

On this night 2 years ago I said ‘night night’ for the last time.

I’m glad i didn’t say goodbye.

I don’t think I ever will say goodbye. 

I worry so badly my heart cant hold itself together on this night, the night his heart stopped. 

Here’s my very last picture I took of Albie- we’re all messy, I’ve about 3 chins, the potty’s in the background…I don’t care, Albie’s in it, it was perfect