Thanks for the presents kid

Dearest Albie

I wanted to say thank you to you. 

You did not need to send me all these gifts this festive period, but I’m so very glad you did.

The way your tree in our garden has clung on to its final few leaves through all the harsh weathers whilst all others withered.

Thank you.

The way all the boys were home and hungry to have our annual cheese board this year. Last year no one could be bothered, the big kids were busy with friends and gaming, the little ones were tired. It was forced and not fun. This year we all laughed together as dad tried blue cheese for the first time. 

Thank you.

The way our new bathroom allows me 20 minutes a day while I have a bath to just rest, and think, or not think…both are necessary. 

Thank you.

The way Taylor Swift released a new documentary on Disney at the very time I thought nothing could make me smile. 

Thank you.

The way my car passed its MOT with only one advisory! That’s never happened before. 

Thank you.

And the way that little robin swoops down into our garden every morning as we leave for school. Just to say hello. 

Thank you.

Others may say these are simply trivial things that happened. 

That they are not about you, they’re just things.  

Not signs. Not gifts. Not you.

But I know differently, I feel it in the depths of my heart and the marrow of my bones, you are making this world a little gentler for me just now.

You are with me.

So of course all those things are linked to you.

Everything is.

Thank you for all of it, mainly for staying by my side this season, it could have been very lonely.  But I was never alone. 

We are somehow – against all the odds, all the distance between us – still together. 

How very lucky to feel that. To know that. 

Please stay near this next little while, I could do with some Albie magic to keep me going.

Oh and look at you in this video, taken on this very day 3 years ago. 

Same words apply…’come on Albie, come on sweetheart, come to mum’

I always have needed you.

Love you

Mum

xxx