Perks of organising the loft

Today’s task for myself was to sort through all the many many bags of boys clothes in the loft.

When you have 5 kids that seem to grow an inch a month you get through lots of clothes!

Whenever I feel overwhelmed I organise. I don’t know why. But it helps get through tough days, there’s a few of those lately as Bhodi edges closer and closer to the age Albie was when we lost him, so many things to feel about that.

I remember hearing a quote ‘If she just randomly starts cleaning everything, It’s not because the place is a mess, it’s because her mind is’. That’s spot on!

The challenge of sorting the clothes was about 2 hours in, almost literally knee deep in random B&M bags of odd mittens, jeans none of my lot would wear and enough newborn clothes to kit out about 8 babies!

Then there it was…an unremarkable red bag, nothing special, filled with a load of crumpled mismatch clothes in it.

Albie’s 3-6month clothes!

All his clothes I thought we had have been made into precious blankets or stored in perfect cream coloured memory boxes. I’ve studied them all and touched every part of them probably thousands of times.

These weren’t folded, they weren’t perfect (many stains from messy play and the start of weaning on carrots I’m guessing), they weren’t something that got stored away after Albie died. 

They just got put away when he was growing too big for them.

And I love that so much, I feel like I’ve discovered a time capsule of a time where life was so simple and good and I had no reason to fold and treasure every item.

He was just a kid growing up. 

In my fairly tale lala head I wonder if Albie helped give me that idea to randomly do this decluttering of the loft. Knowing that in it was this little treasure chest of memories and smells and the innocence that once was. And if I’m right…’well thank you Albie my clever little clogs…you kinda made my whole week’

I always say I wish I could remember it all, today I remember a little more. I discovered a few things and parts of my boy when I thought our journey from now on would be eternal replays. I got to rediscover something new today. I wonder if there’s anything else I’ll find, or I’ll remember.

I’m hopeful now I will. 

Whenever I feel hopeless, he somehow manages to send me a sone, a dose of hope to face the days.

Of course now I’ve found these clothes they’ll not be going back in the loft, they’ll get put on teddies and maybe I’ll let Bhodi have that tiger cardigan as a comforter, I think he’d like that. Or maybe I’ll even ask my super talented cousin if she can make us a second Albie bear, when you’re as loved as he was there’s a lot of people wanting to hug that blue bear.

His things will be around life, part of everyday…of course they will, he’s a huge part of our lives. He’s our Albie.