Always homesick

When I was away from home this week I missed it.

I missed baths and home made dinners.  

I missed all the people and things that make up my home

But really this feeling was not new to me.

It’s very familiar. 

I feel it every. single. day.

‘Grief feels like when you want to go home, but you can’t’ 

I am in two places, here at home with all these wonderful people, but also out there in the cold looking for where I feel content. 

I am two people, here at home full of fun and love, but also out there searching for that final piece to make me feel complete.

I am two mums, here at home making dinners and doing homework, but also holding onto a neckless full of ashes hoping it somehow sends my warmth. 

To be a mum. And to be a grieving mum. 

Two places, two faces.

At home, but always homesick.